So Very, Very Two

Brynna, after a delightfully mellow infancy, has reached that age. To illustrate this new hair-trigger temper, here is a transcript of a conversation we had in the car on the way home from Miss A's tonight:

Brynna: I want you to sing the "I love you" song!

Me: What "I love you" song?

Brynna (singing along with the Barney tune): "I love you..."

Me: Oh! Okay. (I start singing) I love you, you love me...

Brynna: NNNOOOOO! (screaming and crying) NNNNOOOOOTTTT THAT I LOVE YOU SONG!

Me: Oh, I'm sorry. What "I love you" song do you mean?

Brynna (again singing with the Barney tune): "I love you..."

Me: Hmmm. (Thinking hard, since Barney clearly not the right answer. Then, inspiration strikes.) I love you, a bushel and a peck, a bushel...

Brynna: NNNNOOOOOO! (screaming and crying again) NNNOOOOOTTTT THAT I LOVE YOU!

Me: Brynna, I'm sorry. I don't know what I love you song you mean.

Brynna: I WAAAAANNNTTTT THE I LOOOOOOVE YOU SOOOOONG!

Me: B, if I knew what song you wanted, I would sing it for you, but I don't.

Brynna: I WAAAAANNNNNNTTTT THE I LOOOOVEE YOOOOU SOOOONG!

Me: Can you sing it for me? Because then I might be able to sing it for you.

Brynna: NOOOOOOO!!!!!

Me: (Still searching brain for I love you song options while turning off onto our exit ramp) All you need is love, DO-do-DO-do-DO, All you need is love...

Brynna: (hysterical shrieks hit new register) NNNOOOOOOTTTT THAAAATT OOOOOOONE!

Me: Kid, I'm out of options.

Brynna: I WANT THE MISS A SOOOOOOONG!

Me: Oh, is this a special song that she sings for you?

Brynna: YYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!

Me: Well, I don't think I know that song. Maybe tomorrow she can sing it for me, and then I can sing it for you. How would that be?

Brynna: (snuffling) oooo-kay. (Screaming picks up again) I DOOOON'T WAAAAANT TO GO HOOOOOOOOME!

Me (looking for peace, at any cost): why don't we go home and have a snack? What would you like to eat?

Brynna: toast. With sugar and sauce and pepper (translation: sugar and butter and cinnamon)

Me: Sure! Absolutely!