Leaf Blowers

Leaf Blowers, of all the pernicious creations of man, must be one of the most idiotic. An embodiment of excess and laziness, but ironically also an iron weight that rarely saves us time or effort.

Witness one of my neighbors. I hadn't ever noticed the extent to which he loves his leaf-blower, since I haven't spent long days at home until now. When I saw him use it, or heard the the drone of is ultra-polluting two-stroke engine for, seemingly, hours, I figured he was just using it because it was the weekend and he was catching up on yard work. But, as it turns out, this retiree doesn't consider his lawn care to be just a weekend activity. Three times today I witness him brandishing the long plastic hose to move the leaves that had accumulated on his immaculate 1/8-acre greensward in the last few hours. Not content with merely clearing his lawn, he extends his treatment out past the curb, around the cars of commuters parked there, and around to the opposite curb as well. The fact that he lives on the corner of the block, and thus has twice as much curb-frontage, only makes this exercise more irritating.

Leave aside the ear-buzzing, brain-fuzzing noise for a moment. Leave aside the oblivious, conspicuous, and obscene consumption of energy. Leave aside the fact that, for all the time he spends doing this multiple times in the day, he could have raked once. Leaving aside all else, I ask you:

For f&#k's sake, who cares that much about the appearance of their lawn?